Second Chances

By Rose Bryant

Heartbeats out of my chest, everything feels hazy and cold. The weight of the phone cuts into my hand.

I push out words. “What are you trying to say?”

“Gerald… it’s over.”

I drop my phone. I could hear her soft voice cracking as she explains why she doesn’t want me anymore.

I lay there with Cheetos on my face scrolling through her Instagram. A notification pops up. Second chances. Where love always wins. I open it. Five years ago, you were a smart man! You signed up for Second Chances and for being a loyal member you can relive any moment within the past five years. But this time, make smarter choices.

When do you want to go? I type on September 25, 2150. I hit go.

The moment I smell the sea salt all the feelings come rushing back. Our First date. The beat of the drums. The light show. Naomi dancing. I am so happy to see her happy I grab her, kiss her, embracing her.

She pushes away. “What the hell are you doing!”

I didn’t say a word. What did I do wrong?

“Nobody said it was ok to touch my butt!”

She inched away from me. Holding herself trying to focus on the band. Then I remember our first kiss wasn’t here. It was after the date after I drop her off. She gave me a peck on the lips.

I get close so she can hear me, “I’m sorry about what I did, you just look beautiful, and I really wanted to kiss you.”

She blushed a little. “It’s ok. I was a little more startled than angry. I just didn’t think you were that forward of a guy.”

“Oh… well with you it is hard to hold back. Do you want to dance?”

“Ok. But you can’t touch my butt, not yet.” I put my hands up with a don’t shoot look. She laughs and pulls me to the dance floor.

She always said I didn’t dance with her enough.

I woke up on my couch, July 10, 2155.The memories of that night shifted.

This time when I walked her home. She held my hand and kiss me. No peck, a really long kiss.

The phone rings. It’s her! I stumbled to pick it up.

“Hey Baby.”

“Gerald. We need to talk.”

It was like having the same nightmare twice. She told me how much I’ve changed since we started dating and how we are changing in different directions.

How’d I get here? I thought she loved me. I thought I was the man she wanted. I must go back. I open the app. I must fix every bad moment.

It was our first big fight. We were at her show. She looked so beautiful. But I wasn’t the only one who noticed. The first time, I gave that perve a bloody nose. I am still proud of that moment. But Naomi told me I was overreacting. That I was messing with her image and hurting her fans.

So, this time I will be a better man for Naomi. This time I did nothing, and he walks up to her. I try not to say anything. He grabs her ass, she yells and slaps him.

After I wake up in my room, the memory of that night shifted. We didn’t fight over her career.

“Why didn’t you protect me?” Naomi snaps.“ I thought that’s what you wanted! To be a singer.” “So, because I am a singer means I want a rando touching my ass.” “No, I’m not your bodyguard.” “Well, I thought a boyfriend was supposed to protect me. But I guess I’m wrong.”

My phone rings. I already know what she is going to say but I listened anyway. I need to know what I did wrong. I just need to fix it. I don’t’ know how many times I went back, and I don’t know how many times she broke up with me. Every failure was just another opportunity to make myself better for her.

She told me she hated that she said I love you first” so I said it on the third date. She wanted more flowers so I gave her more. I wrote down everything she wished I did and I fixed it. I am going to be the perfect man for her.

I wake up in my room. Naomi is calling. I pick up my cracked phone.

“I hate you.” Something was different about this call. She was kind of angry.

“What?”

“You’re a creep, a monster! Stop MESSING with my head. I’m DONE! Gerald! you hear me, lose my number!” She hangs up.

I sit there still and unmoving.

I must go back. I open my app, type in the day we first met. “Time unretrievable.” I look in my history, I can only go back three years, what happened. My head starts to burn. The memory of how we first met is changing.

I am looking at my phone about to set up Second Chances. When Naomi slaps the phone out of my hand. “What the hell is wrong with you?” She yells. “I’m sorry, who are you?” “Stop messing with my memories. I can’t figure out if you were an ass or we just didn’t work. But it doesn’t matter anymore! I don’t want to see you now or then. So get the hell out of my life! And out of my memory!” She walked away.

All the sweet moments we had together fade from my memory. Turning into a glorified dream. I look through my photo album. There was no evidence we even dated. I couldn’t remember her smell, her hair, or her face. Everything about her dissipated. And I was left with a hole, sad about a moment in time I couldn’t even remember.